Thursday, March 12, 2009


before i walk into the house today, i told myself, tearing is the last thing people really need when it comes to life and death.

its better to put a smile on the face for departing soul to remember.

i kept giving you smiles that i assumed could whisper to your ears and tell you "everything is going to be fine".

i sat in the room and played tunes that you've never heard before, hoping that it can somehow stay in your soul wherever you may go.

but it cuts me deep when i look into your eyes knowing that you understood what is happening.

it cuts me deep when i see you no longer can run to me and start a gun & barks fight.

the last time i ever cried was 28th May 2007. that was when i found I've lost grip of a person who i care the most.

its takes a lot punching to my ego to allow tears to drop from my eyes.

i guess my eyes felt its necessary today. the wall of my ego fell.

i remember how blank you looked the first time i taught you the gun trick, and yet, a week later i found you've totally understood what i was trying to teach.

you might not be able to read these alphabets or understand these words, but you have empathy towards the people, better than any human being.

the image of me feeding you your last treats will forever stuck in my head. i wish you weren't just lying there licking bit by bit of the ice cream. i wish you came barked and snatched the ice cream from me.

although i feel a lot of human being in this world deserve to leave the globe more than you. i hope you're in a better place now.



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