Monday, August 30, 2010


When you started smoking, i feel we can connect more. But i didn't realized something is changing in you. You used to be wise, caring and really really intelligent, but now, i realized you're changing to fit your surroundings, and the people around you. I guess once you got used to that, its hard for you to change. A friend of mine keep asking me, do i have any feeling for you, I deny it all the time. Its not because its not true, its because I'm not sure anymore weather i still have that feeling. Its because every time i talk to you, part of me still have it and part of me start rejecting it because of what you've become.

I might have a wrong perception about you from the start, i don't know, i could be wrong, maybe this is who you are all this while and i just didn't know you that well to tell. It could be me disappointing myself.

Remember when Amanda asked you how we met? You said its not memorable? You are wrong, it is for me. I was the guy with the "Fuck the world" caption and you came to me and asked me whats wrong and we started talking about a lot of things, we had conversations that i never had with any other that girl I've met in my entire life. We cant stop talking to each other for the longest time. I liked you since then, i just never thought of doing anything about it because i think you're too smart to like a person like me.

Its heartbreaking that i felt the other way around now. I wish i don't have to write this down. This is not to discredit you as a person, its mainly about how i felt, because you're only one of the few person that i really cared about.

and the only person that i fell in love with the longest time.