I must be the most idealistic person to think that with strong will, anybody can achieve anything they want. I always think i can outsmart anybody if i want to. I like what Bruce Lee said, "Apply "No Limitation" as your limit".
The past one week, i keep thinking about a lot of my past and i realize how, a lot of things, a lot of people dont mean shit to me anymore. There were no good times granted. First thing first, i used to believe in religion, i used got offended when people attack my religion, and now, i've became a person who criticized religion the most, no matter what religion, i criticized and condemn them all! I see religion as a desease that every human being need to get rid of. A parasite that hung on to human being, a dangerous parasite that suck life outtha human beings , parasite that can order a human being to destroy another human being that has a different species of parasite in them. Religion is the highest form of destructive radioactive weapon. Thats why, i choose to stop believing in something that's so dangerous. I throw it all away.
The friends, those who i thought were friends basically all this while are just a bunch of people who stab me at the back whenever i do something good for myself. These people want to see me fall. Friend is just a word, it doesnt mean anything, people are selfish, when shit hits the fan, everyone will kill each other to survive. Friends doesnt last forever, yes, they dont last forever, not like those fairytale people told you it would. Friends has its time limit, its just about how long a friend can last. those who last longer often mean more to you and thats all it is. Its about how long they last as your "friends". If you ask me, i've made peace with that, cos all i need to do is discard those who expires or those who expire me. Its a natural process, dont believe me? Look at how many friends you made all these years and count back how many of them still in contact with you. I've no interest to see people who already expired in my book. Simple.
And for people who i loved, that left me. You think life is so easy, you smash a big piece of glass and expect those pieces to stay together even they are already apart from each other. You find me when you need to talk about things you cant talk to others, you find me cos you think im patient and i can listen to you, feel for you. Let me ask you one thing, what do i get from doing that? If im not getting anything, why the hell should i do this charity work for you? Everytime when you think about telling me your problems and expect me to listen, i really wonder did you really thought of this? I loved you, and you left me. Im a practical guy, i wont do anything for free. Only thing that will lead a person to provide favour without charging is love/feelings. If there's no love or feelings, i cant see why should i provide favour for people. You left me, your hurted me, do not expect anything from me.
All these things, i've decided to throw it all away. Your time has finished. Now get the fuck outtha my life.
I almost didnt make it to play the biggest show ever in my band's career. Thanks to the government sector that is a big fucking pain in the anus.
Well, i made it anyway, thanks to a good friend who helped me out all the way through the whole show, he even lost his wallet at the show. I said it a lot of times, no words are good enough to thank this motherfucker. Other than this little mofo and his actress girlfriend, i have with me my long time photographer/close friend, close pal from hometown and of course my band mates that really made me proud during the performance.
One thing, i dont know what to feel about the whole experience actually. Im just glad i made it at the very last minute. Also having a bunch of close pals walk with me to witness the biggest show of my band. The feeling is more than just pleasant. Its like one great rollercoaster ride.
Now im back, people ask me how does it feel like to be like a rock star for 3 days? My answer is, feel like a rockstar? No. The amount of mistakes i made on stage are enough to disqualify me from being a rock star. Serious, i really dont feel like a star at all, in fact, isnt a rock star a human being? Why should i feel any different? All i can say is, its a great experience. Rock star? No.
My band is far away from that and we still have a long long long way to go.