Monday, September 8, 2008

saving, random, jealous, things

Aha! i thought since i wrote such a long entry last week, i should keep this going. with a blog title thats nice to be used as song title.

on my way driving back to my home after missing in action from my own house for 2 days plus, i told myself something.

"maybe you should do something totally selfless from now on, in order to make people happy, go, do something for people who meant something to you"

i dont know what others think about me as a person, basically i dont care what people think about me. but deep inside me, i know im a selfish fuck. no, seriously. thats how i see myself and i have been living with that for a long time. alright maybe not all the time i think. lets say 70% of the time.

okay, after 3 paragraphs you should be thinking, "haha, this fucker is emo". no im not. im just having some thoughts in my head.

i've lost the plot.

ahh, i can never express my stuff to people, even i know not much people gonna read this. i've always been secretive about my personal things, to a point i think i've kept too many things to myself. hell, i always say music is an expression, but i never obviously tell people any stories in my songs. only i know what does the song mean. anyone out there, if i've ever told you my song meaning, sorry, i lied to you 50%.

so now, in order to be honest, i'll keep this journal going in order to support an operation called "saving random jealous things".

sorry, it wont be fun if i tell you the meaning of "saving random jealous things" isnt it? :) all i can say is, this operation is an act of selflessness.

oh yeah, about ebee, you're the keeper of things i said that night (which i still dont know what is it). not necessary to reveal it to me. you keep it. until you publish your journal. remember in the car you said "lets pretend that im back in malaysia". yes, indeed i will. you belong here, in a way, hhmm.. in many ways. Ahah. our december trip is my main aim now. it WILL happen. dont worry, go back, give a some hugs to everyone there, then eventually you'll found yourself back here.

monday is the worst day of the week, but, even thats okay, its cos of that i've got the money to enjoy myself and use the money to take care of people, now and future.


o: hahaha, you dont even know it yourself! you havent realise!
k: i know now, i think i do.

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